Back To School

Song of the day: Summer Girl - The Stereos

Back to school, it is an exciting, scary, and dreaded time. For a kindergardener it is the most exciting time they can think of at that time. They are finally getting away from their parents and starting to meet other kids there age. For a child going into grad nine it is exciting like kindergarden would be because they are concidered closer to "Grown up" and they are around all kinds of older kids that will teach them the way life is in high school. But it is also a very scary and intimidating time. Children feel scared of what people are going to think of them and become very self consious. For a teen going into grade 12 life myself, you've lost all that fear and insecurity, but you've gained the fear of the rest of your life. I, myself, am so excited to start my last year of high school and get ready to go to university. Its begining a new chapter of my life and finally being released into the real world.

Life Lesson [#2]

Song of the day: Change For You - The Midway State

An Exert from the book Love Songs by Lawrence Sanders

“Because,” Graves explained, “love songs are “nice” songs. They’re dream songs. Pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow songs. Love is what everyone wants and no one finds.”
That was when Bobbie Vander said somberly, “No Hap. People find it but love corrupts, and absolute love corrupts absolutely. Parents and children, husbands and wives, and especially lovers: love corrupts them all. Because you have an image of the loved one. And the loved one, sometimes unloving, still attempts to adapt your image. But then you find the image is a sad substitute of what you first saw in the loved one. We change to accommodate love. And by changing, we destroy it. That first insanity cools. By changing what we are to answer the lover’s demands. And by answering them, we kill the heat. Nothing more? That’s what the lover asks then. Nothing more? Is that all there is? If there’s everything, there’s nothing. There has to be something more "

"Don’t fall in love, don’t fall in love,
Take wings and soar to find it.
Fly high above, to pledge your love,
And give a kiss to bind it."

Fight Cancer !

Dear Friend,
Want to be part of a community that takes up the fight? Help me support the fight against cancer by pledging me for my participation in the Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life.
The Canadian Cancer Society Relay For Life is an overnight non-competitive relay that celebrates cancer survivors and pays tribute to the lives of loved ones. It involves teams of 10 people who take turns walking, running or strolling around a track to raise money to support the work of the Canadian Cancer Society. It's a night of fun, friendship and fundraising to beat cancer.
Funds raised through Relay For Life make a difference. They help the Canadian Cancer Society fund the most promising research projects in the country, provide information services and support programs in the community and advocate for public policies that prevent cancer and help those living with it. You can help make cancer history by pledging my participation in Relay For Life. It's easier than ever - just click the link at the bottom of this message to view my personal page and look for the blue button to support me in this event. Online pledging is secure and it saves the Society money by reducing administrative costs. No amount is too small, or too big. And with a donation of $10 or more, you will receive a tax receipt immediately by e-mail.
Thanks,


Click here to visit my personal page.

http://convio.cancer.ca/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFL_NB_Moncton_?px=1810381&pg=personal&fr_id=3755&fl=en_CA&et=WntT8E3PgoQakTnUsJVArg..&s_tafId=46964

Canadian Cancer Society, New Brunswick Division133 Prince William Street, P.O. Box 2089, Suite 201, Saint John, New Brunswick, E2L 3T5Phone: (506) 634-6272 E-mail: wlmailhtml:%7B3C105E47-D52F-4882-A5B7-A6396F512917%7Dmid://00000034/!x-usc:mailto:relay@nb.cancer.ca

A Love Story

Song of the day - Hide and Seek - Imogan Heap


[ a short story I wrote ]
We ran through the grass and dew from it soaked our bare feet. It felt cold but refreshing. He ran only a few steps behind me, close enough that he could reach out and touch me if he wanted to. The cuffs of my pants were soggy so I stopped and leaned over to pull them up. He hadn’t seen that I stopped running and ran into me. I fell down on my chest into the dewy, tall grass. I started to laugh and so did he. The sound of our laughter in harmony was a sweet ringing in my ears. He looked at me as though he was going to help me up but surprised me when he flung himself onto the thick grass beside me. Our laughter dissipated and he turned to face me. I was currently absentmindedly pulling at the grass. He grabbed my hand and gently placed his fingers in between mine like they belonged there. I felt so safe here in our perfect pasture of paradise and even safer that he had my hand. As long as be had my hand this couldn’t be a dream and he wouldn’t disappear. I closed my eyes and let myself slip into reverie. I dreamt of hope, of love, and of him. I had never felt so much love for one person in my life. I was terrified to wake up because he might disappear. This might not be real
When I awoke the sun was high in the sky and there were no clouds to block its path. He had pulled me into his arms and I felt comforted that he was still there and that I wasn’t just dreaming. The sun shone down on us and draped us in a blanket of warmth. The sun was like self worth shining down on me. I was scared to move, scared that I would never have another moment as perfect as this. I wished that every person in the world could feel this good at some point in there life. If only the whole world could feel this much love for someone, then maybe we wouldn’t have any fighting, any violence, any war.
I turned my body slightly and looked up and him. His eyes were filled with wonder but he didn’t say a word. I surveyed his face and took in every crease and every line. I loved every one of his imperfections because he was perfect in his own way. And he was mine. He took my hand, placed it to his smooth face and closed his eyes. I kissed the lids of his eyes and he sighed. Then I kissed him softly on the lips and he wrapped his arm around my waist. This moment was beyond perfect, it was flawless, fearless, unbelievable. I ran my fingers through his short dark hair and he traces circles on my arm. I pulled back and placed my head on his chest.
How could anything ever be better than this? How was I supposed to get up and walk back to the rest of the world? This was my world. The only world I ever wanted to know. I felt a twinge of pain as I thought of leaving this place. Sure he would always be mine but life wasn’t this easy in the real world. Not that I cared what the real world thought. This pasture was like a dream land to me. He was like a dream to me. There would never be another one like him, he was completely unique. Surely fate had brought me to him and I never wanted to let go.
He gently placed me on the ground so that his arms were free and stood up. I propped myself up on one elbow to gaze at him. He looked almost nervous as he looked back down to where he had placed me. He stared deeply into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat. His soft green eyes seemed to be searching for something in mine. His eyebrows creased slightly in the middle and then smoothed over. A serene bliss seemed to sweep over him in a wave and I wished that I could have felt what he was feeling at the moment. What ever it was that had crossed his face had left me feeling troubled.
He leaned down to kiss my forehead. “I’ll be back in just a second.” He promised me and then darted over a hill and out of my view. He had left me here to ponder over what he could possibly be doing. I didn’t like this pasture so much when I was alone. I guess it was never really the pasture, just him. The sun or the grass or the blue sky could never replace the comfort he brought me. I saw him walking back towards me slowly. I had plenty of time to muse over what ever he was doing before he reached me. He didn’t speak right away. He just looked at me meaningfully, like he had something to say but didn’t quite know how. That comforted me slightly.
When he finally did speak it was slow and deliberate. His voice was like a sweet sugar. “I love you, but you already know that. I have always loved you. I don’t think I could ever live without you, and I don’t ever want to.” He looked nervous as he continued. “You are my world and when I lay here with you I can’t think of ever being apart. I can’t think of anyone else. I can’t even think about myself. All of my thoughts center on you. When I even entertain the idea of losing you my heart begins to break. I don’t ever want to be with out you. I don’t think I can.” He stopped and began to kneel onto one knee. I gasped as I realized what he was doing. “I want to spend forever with you. Will you marry me?” I began to cry with joy and I wrapped my arms around his neck, knocking him over.
“I love you” I whispered. “Of course I’ll spend forever with you.” He pulled me in tighter and kissed my face. This was ecstasy, this was bliss, this was real. I couldn’t believe this was really happening. I pinched myself theatrically and he laughed at me. He kissed me long and hard and I didn’t want to let go. He pulled back and then heaved me up to standing position. He wrapped his arms around me and swung me in circles. When he set me down he grabbed my hand and started to lead me back the way we’d came. He leaned over and kissed my forehead.
“I love you.” He whispered and it was perfect.

A Life Lesson [#1]

Song of the day: All Over You - The Spill Canvas

Life Lesson - Your life may be flipped upside down but everything else hasn’t changed. The world still stays the same and lends its self to normality when life gets rough

Exert from "Cocktail" By Ali Marr

Climbing the small flight of stairs that led to the main floor seemed like a struggle. When at the top I took at right and made my way down the dim lighted hall way that leads towards the stairs that head up to the second floor. I stared at what seemed to me like that most monstrous set of stairs. I didn’t have the energy to climb these. I made myself anyway. Trudging up the stairs seemed like such a task that I have never noticed before. When I reached the top, my empty, white washed door stood there, closed.
It was hard to grasp that when I thrust open the door and walked into my room nothing will have changed. It would still look the same as when I left it at 8:05 this morning. My clothes would still be pilled on the floor, my make-up still strewn across my mahogany dresser. Little post-it notes from Lizzi and Sadie would still litter my mirror and my bed would still have blankets spread across it. My walls would continue to be light pink, cluttered with posters, pictures and notes. My carpet would not cease to be beige with a small burn mark where I had left my straightener on one evening. Not a single alteration will have taken place, everything would still be identical. Yet since 8:05 everything in my life had transformed.
I stood frozen in front of the door. Not wanting to faces the reality that I had realized lies behind this small piece of wood; life goes on. I sucked in a large breath and pushed open the door. As I had predicted, everything stood the same as I had left it. I felt a fresh pain pang my heart as I flung myself onto my bed as new tears formed in my eyes. While I began the process of falling into pieces once again, my phone buzzed beside me.

Summer's peeking

Song of the day: Pocket Full of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfeild

Summers starting to show its glowing face and i couldn't be more excited. Summer for me means visits to the beach, hanging out with friends, sleeping in, and oh, no school. There is so much to be excited about. I don't know if anyone else feels this way but when the sun is shining and the air is warm i just feel better. Sorry that this isn't a very long blog but there has been an accident in my family and life has become hectic. hopfully i will have more to say soon. But start getting excited about sun, warmth, summer.

Let's wear white and black out cancer

Song of the day: The Remedy - Jason Mraz

My father had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, my boss had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, a family friend has been diagnosed with cancer, my teacher just died from cancer. One person was too many for me. On April 27th, I, along with many others, will be wearing white to help support those dealing with cancer.

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE ON APRIL 27TH, WEAR WHITE TO HELP BLACK OUT CANCER AND TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS TO WEAR WHITE THAT DAY TOO!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLyVjML0ekI

PLEASE READ THIS:

Have you been touched by cancer? I bet you can think of at least one person who has it.Cancer blackens lives. It makes people feel like there’s no hope. Well let’s wear white to protest against cancer. Let’s bring hope to those who are fighting against cancer.White is the color of purity. Brides wear white in many countries, because white symbolizes a virgin. White means kindness. In some cultures white is worn at funerals. White is Monday's color. White daisies are a symbol of loyal love. White EnergyStrictly speaking, white is not a color, but the manifestation of the presence of all color - the complete energy of light. It stands for wholeness and completion. In many cultures it represents openness and truth. White has a cold quality. It can provide clarity as its energy is complete.White has purification vibrations and can be used to clear blocks from your path. It holds the potential to move toward every other color and this makes it a good choice for new beginnings, and development in any direction.Put some white in your life when you want: - to clear clutter and obstacles away - to start a fresh beginning - to bring about mental clarity - purification of thoughts or actions Wearing WhiteWear white to impart a pure, wholesome impression. Surround yourself with white if your surroundings feel cluttered and you want to refresh your mind.SO LETS HELP ALL THOSE FIGHTING GET PURIFIED OF CANCER. IT HAS PLAGED US FOR TOO LONG. WEAR WHITE TO BRING HOPE TO CANCER SURVIVORSWE CAN BE UPLIFTING, WE CAN HELP BEAT THIS. - thank you [ http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=66618130877&ref=ts ]

Planning The Rest of My Life

Song of the day: Spotlight - MuteMath

Getting ready to graduate is tough. I’m heading into my second term of the second semester of grade 11 and we’re looking at what we want to take in grade 12 in order to graduate. We are pretty much picking the rest of our lives right now and it’s quite a stressful experience. If we don’t take sciences and math’s because we plan on taking a BA in the arts and then we change our mind then we’re in trouble because we don’t have what we need. It’s now or never to choose what we want to do and honestly, I have no clue. There are so many options and it’s so hard to figure out which one is for me. Do I want to be a writer? A scientist? A doctor? A musician? How can I make sure that what I pick is really what I want to do? I know that I, personally, am worried sick that I’ll make the wrong decision and end up in some dead end job that I will never be content in. I don't know about the rest of you. Life and planning is kind of like a chess game, you spend time planning your every move and you could be knocked down, or you could conqure. You put hours of thought into each large move and hope that life doesn't play something right. There is a website out there called careercrusing.com and it helped narrow down to things that I would be interested in but still, it’s hard to choose which one is for me. With today’s economical problems, who’s to say that in 5 years, when I’m getting ready to head out into the work force, that the job I’ve been studying to have will even exist any more. What happens if I CAN’T find a job? I’ll be stuck with student loans I won’t be able to pay off and a degree that I can’t use. There are so many things to take into consideration. I can’t even drive alone yet and I’m being expected to plan the rest of my life in the next week. My parents still consider me “young” and now I have to try and make important life decisions. There really isn’t any way around it. Maybe take a year off to figure out what I want to do, but really there aren’t many options other than hope I get it right. What's your move?

Easter

Song of the day: Songs For A Blue Guitar - Red House Painters

Bunnies, egg hunts, duckies, chocolate, daffodils, presents, spring… This is what I think of when someone says Easter. How many people out there know the meaning of Easter or even Good Friday, other than getting chocolate and the working world gets time and a half on their pay. Do you know that Good Friday is the day that Jesus Christ hung on the cross for our sins? or that Easter is the day that He rose again. I think that's a little better than chocolate. 'Cause you know, which would we rather? chocolate or forgiven sins and eternal life? Tough decision eh? His hands and feet are permanently scared for us, he gave his life for us and the least we could do is believe in him. So when you're munching on that chocolate for the next week, think of why we celebrate and what was given for us to be free of sin. Think of Jesus hanging on that cross saying "Forgive them, they do not know what they do". Think of the biggest sacrifice, one no other can ever repay. The best we can do is give our life over to him, it's not like he didn't give anything up for you.

Take The Beaten Path

Song of the day: Africa - Karl Wolf Ft Culture

Today my father and I drove out to St.Antoine for lunch, which is about a 30 minute drive from where I live. We stopped at a cute little restaurant and the food was great, though they litterally gave me a personal mountain of fries. On the way home we drove out of the way to stop at an apple orchard. I really seemed like a shady place, but they had great apples and awesome apple cider. As we neared closer to town we saw another shady looking place. this one was a furniture. For the sake of nothing better to do, we stopped in and explored the whole thing. They had huge tractor trailers filled with stuff and a deck built in front of them. We ended up finding something my mom's been looking to get for awhile. Sure one of the screws were missing and the others were falling out but we got it anyways. we brought it home and fixed it up and now we're just waiting for her to get home so she can see it. I'm not just trying to tell you about my day, what I'm trying to tell you is sometimes we miss things that might be of great interest because it looks a little shady. Some times the places that aren't polished and trimmed are the most interesting places to visit. Little cafes, old warehouses, and apple orchards can be more fun and bring more joy than a fancy, expensive restaurant or an over priced, over sized department store. So take the beaten path and explore things you wouldn't normally look twice at. you might just find something exciting, interesting, different. Buying apples at the grocery store is so safe, but why not take a chance and buy them at an orchard out of town. They probably taste better but you'd never know that unless you try. take the time to enjoy the small things. the beaten path goes more interesting ways than you'd think.

Media

Song of the day: The Fear - Lily Allen

The media, these days, has created a mold of what women “should be” in this society. It’s sickening. Since when do girls need to be perfect to be loved? When I was 13 I attended a modeling competition. While standing in line to talk to one of the companies for a call back I over heard them talking to one of the girls in front of me. She was a tall and slender girl. One of the skinniest girls I’ve met. I stood horrified as they told this willowy girl that she needed to lose 2 inches off her waist because she was “over weight”. The average height and weight for a model is 5’10” and 110 lbs. and the height and weight for the average women is 5’4” and 145 lbs. That’s a big difference. Because of things like this we have girls who diet at ages as young as 10. Subsequently girls develop eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia, and other dietary conditions. When I was younger I looked up to Hilary Duff. When she used to be in the show Lizzi McGuire she would say that it was okay to be a little bit bigger. She didn’t let the media bring her down and she didn’t care what other people thought of her. A couple years ago she came to Moncton and I had the chance to meet her. Not only was she thin but she was unhealthy skinny. I felt like giving her a Big Mac. The media has conquered over most of us and it’s time we fight back. Don’t let the media effect how you feel because really those girls in the ads aren’t real. At one point they probably looked just like you or me but the people who created that ad used a really good program called photo shop. Unfortunately for the rest of us, photo shop can’t help us get ready in the morning so I guess we’re just going to have to ignore that brainwashing media and hope he goes away. Inside every girl there’s something beautiful that make-up can never replicate, something that photo shop can’t fake. Let that be what you embrace, not what the media says you should be.